Beginning
by Eunoia
Summary: Jim runs into Pam at the airport on his way to Australia. Pure fluffy wish fulfillment. Please review!


_Disclaimer: I don't own Pam or Jim (I wish!) or these situations. Written for fun, not profit._

_Author's Note: This is probably the fluffiest thing I've ever written. I can't help it; Jim and Pam bring it out in me. Sorry about some of the formatting issues. I couldn't figure out how to do strike-throughs. Also, I haven't actually seen all the episodes, so some details may be off. Also, sorry to any of you who were hoping for another chapter on one my many WIPs. I'm a terrible procrastinator when it comes to multi-part stories.  
_

He sees her out of the corner of his eye long before he allows himself to even entertain the thought it could be her. Because he's at the airport, on his way to Australia, and Pam is at her wedding. Getting married. To Roy. Finally, when looking away becomes awkward, he turns towards the figure in the wedding gown, on her knees with her arm in the vending machine.

Her hair is up, and obviously the outfit's different, but he knows immediately that it's her. He tries as hard as he can to push that hopeful feeling in his chest out of the way before he gets up. "Pam?" he asks, and he wishes he didn't suddenly sound like he was back in the throes of puberty.

She's startled and attempts to stand up, forgetting the odd angle her arm is in. "Fuck!" Her cry elicits angry glares from the mother with the toddler who is next in line for the vending machine. "Sorry, I'm sorry," she says as she pulls her arm out and stands up. The kid looks up at her and responds with a loud and clear "Fuck!" The woman's glare sharpens exponentially and she pulls her son away.

Pam turns to give Jim the apologetic smile she owed the mother. "Hey. I, um, I thought you'd be long gone by now," she says.

"Yeah. Well, my flight's been delayed. I wouldn't be surprised if whoever runs this airport was a former Dunder Mifflin employee." He thinks he's mastered a cool and detached voice and then he realizes that pretending everything's normal is not going to work when she's standing in the airport in her wedding dress. "Pam…"

"I know," she says, and her eyes don't finish the smile her mouth starts. "I, um, I left Roy."

They stand in silence for what seems like forever. A million things to say are running through his mind, but he can't pick one. Finally she speaks. "I'm touched by your sympathy," she says, and that's when he realizes he's smiling.

"Oh jeez. Pam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean—I mean, I'm sorry."

But she's smiling too now. "It's okay. I'm not mad." Her smile turns to laughter and soon they're both standing there laughing like idiots.

When he catches his breath he works up the courage to ask what he's wanted to ask all along. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, Roy didn't take it very well. Which is probably pretty understandable, since—." She gestures towards her dress, "—obviously it was kind of a last minute decision. Anyway, he said that I'd better pay for the honeymoon. I'd been sitting in my car for the last few hours when I realized that I couldn't afford to waste a trip to Mexico. So, yeah. I didn't have time to change."

Jim is barely listening. There had been this tiny part of him that had been holding his breath ever since he caught sight of her, hoping that she was going to race into his arms and say she had been looking for him, like in one of those cheesy movies his sister always watched. He manages to nod as though it doesn't feel like she just punched him in the stomach. Grasping at straws, he suddenly thinks of something and says "But why are you at this gate? Last time I checked, flights to Sydney didn't stop over in Mexico City."

She nodded towards the vending machine behind her. "My gate didn't have one. I suddenly realized I hadn't had anything but a slurpee since breakfast."

He just nodded again. He wondered where their easy banter had gone. He had been mostly avoiding her gaze until then, but now he really looked at her for the first time. "You look different," he said, before he could stop himself.

She looked self-conscious suddenly. "Well, I had my makeup done. Roy's sister works at Clinique."

"No, I mean, you just look happy."

She smiles again, but he can tell she's trying not to. "I know. I know it's not fair to Roy and that I should feel horrible, and I kind of do, but I kind of don't. Is that terrible?"

"Of course not. Look, Pam. There's this look you get when you're working. Like your soul is being sucked out every second you sit at that desk. I get that. I'm sure I get that look an awful lot too. But you stay. Because you should. Because there's nothing better. And I get that too." He takes a deep breath, suddenly emboldened, knowing that in a few hours they won't even be in the same country. "And maybe I'm way out of line here, but sometimes when you were with Roy, or talking about Roy I saw a similar look. And I thought I must be wrong, or it was just wishful thinking, or something. But maybe I was right. And if I was, then I'm really proud of you. Because I know that couldn't have been easy. And I can see that you're happy. And that makes me happy." As soon as he stops talking he regrets it. He had kept his mouth shut for so long, only to spew out all of that now when he was almost free.

Her response is quiet. "What do you mean 'wishful thinking'?"

He gives up. He just doesn't see the point anymore, knowing that things are over with Roy, but that she still has no interest in him. "Come on, Pam," he says sadly. "Let's not pretend you don't know. Helen Keller would know. But you don't feel the same way, and I get that. So, have a great time in Mexico, okay?"

Before she can respond a voice comes over the intercom. "Paging Ms. Pam Beesley. Pam Beesley, you are wanted at Gate C17. Your flight is leaving in five minutes." Her eyes widen. "Look, Jim, I—."

"Forget it," he says. "You're going to be late. Go."

She turns away and picks up her suitcase. She attempts to wheel it behind her, but it keeps getting tangled in the long train of her dress. He sighs and takes it from her. She looks at him as though she's going to say something, but he's scared of what it will be, so he just tilts his head towards her gate and says "Come on." They run to her gate, where she hurriedly gives the flight attendant her boarding pass.

Just when he thinks she's just going to give him a quick goodbye, she turns, signaling to the attendant that she's coming in a minute. "Jim, I feel like I haven't always treated you fairly. And I'm trying to do the right thing. But I just…I don't want you to think that I don't…that I don't feel anything."

The sounds of the airport seem to stop as she speaks. He struggles to respond. When she sees that he's not saying anything, she continues. "When I left the wedding I parked my car in the 7-11 parking lot. And then I kept seeing people coming out with slurpees, so I thought I'd get one. And I don't even really like slurpees. But I was sitting there, drinking this stupid slurpee in this stupid dress and it was like the best slurpee I'd had in years. I've been with Roy since the eleventh grade. I can't remember what life was like before him. I just…I need some time to be by myself, you know? And that's why it's taking every ounce of energy I have not to kiss you right now. It wouldn't be fair to me or to you or to Roy."

"Pam." His voice sounds rough, and something in it makes her step back. He thinks he sees tears in her eyes and it almost hurts not to be touching her.

"Jim, I need to know you get it. And that I'm sorry for not figuring this out earlier."

"I get it, Pam. I just…would it be pathetic if I said I can wait?"

"No. But it's not fair. You don't owe me anything. Go to Australia and hook up with some hot tanned girl with an accent. I don't want to ruin your vacation."

"Excuse me, ma'am." The flight attendant is really starting to get irritated.

"Just a second. I'm sorry. I'll just be a second."

Jim tries to make it quick. "I just don't think you realize…I…" He can't say it. It'll sound creepy and stalker-ish, and when it comes down to it, he's not exactly sure what he wants to say anyway.

One thing Pam does realize is that the tension is getting almost unbearably high and if she doesn't say something, she's not going to be able to keep from kissing him any longer. "Oh, I get it," she says playfully. "You think I'm gooooorgeous, you want kiiiiiss me, you want to hug me…"

She is sing-songing the lines when suddenly Jim jumps in and joins her on "You want to loooove me" and then finishes it off with a "Jinx! Buy me a coke."

"Ma'am!" The attendant is through waiting. "If you don't get on the plane right now we are leaving."

Pam is gaping at Jim, who only laughs. "Payback's a bitch, isn't it? Your first mistake was assuming that I hadn't seen _Miss Congeniality_ when in fact I own it. And now you're dying to make fun of me for that, but you can't." He grins and waves as she turns the corner and then heads back to his gate.

* * *

When Jim returns to the office three weeks later, everything looks the same. Everything always looked the same at Dunder-Mifflin. They should put that on their letterheads. There is, however, one notable difference. Pam isn't there. An unfamiliar-looking woman with short dark hair is at the reception desk. He gives her an uncertain smile as he passes her, but she just blinks at him. She's already mastered the trademark Dunder-Mifflin blank stare. He half expects her to say "I am no one," in a zombie voice. He heads over to his desk and drops his bag on the chair before greeting everyone. He realizes he almost missed them and it scares him. After he's gotten through the requisite "My trip was great, thank you"s, he casually asks Toby, "So, um, Pam's still not back?"

"She didn't tell you?" Toby replies. Upon seeing Jim's confusion he says "Well, she quit…when she got back from her trip. She didn't think it was fair to Roy to keep working here." Suddenly Toby looked scared. "She did tell you about Roy, right?"

"Oh…yeah. Yeah." Jim nods. He thanks Toby and numbly heads back to his desk. He should have guessed she'd be quitting. He had just been so excited about seeing her again. The walls suddenly seem to be closing in on him. He can't imagine continuing to work here for a moment longer. But as always, he sits at his desk and turns on the computer.

Just as he's starting to get back to work, the new receptionist comes over. "You're Jim Halpert, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry I didn't introduce myself. Mind's still on vacation." He holds out his hand. She takes it gingerly and says "I'm Melissa. The new receptionist. I just thought I should give you this." She hands him a package. "It came for you a few weeks ago."

He smiles when he sees that it's postmarked from Mexico. He opens it to find a small water bottle filled with coke. A letter falls out from the package.

_Dear Jim,_

_I don't think I'm ever going to be allowed to fly with this airline again. First, I delayed their takeoff, and then I had to pretend to be deaf the whole flight even though the flight attendant knew I wasn't. I will never forgive you. Anyway, I bought this coke on the flight (with sign language, thank you very much) and managed to steal a water bottle from the guy sitting next to me since they don't sell coke in bottles on the plane. I figured once I bought it I could talk, but I wasn't sure anyone would believe my deafness had been miraculously cured from the change in air pressure. So I had to stick with the deaf thing all the way to Mexico. Have I mentioned I will never forgive you?_

_Pam_

_PS We Should Really _(crossed-out)  
_PS You should _(crossed-out)  
_PS Maybe we can get together sometime after you get back. I'm writing this at the post office, so I'd better hand it over before the guy glares a hole through my skull. I wonder if he's related to that flight attendant. If not, I think I should set them up. They're made for each other._

Jim feels the cameraman approaching behind him, and he quickly stuffs the note away. He can't hide his smile though. The bottle takes a permanent place on his bedroom shelf that night, far from the camera's prying eyes.

* * *

As the weeks pass though, Jim's excitement wanes. He keeps almost calling and then remembering what she said about needing to be on her own. He meant what he said about being proud of her and he doesn't want to mess with that. But the note said she wanted to get together. Pam's different from any woman that he's known in so many ways, but in a lot of ways she's no different. Her tendency to emit mixed messages of the highest order is one of those ways. Of course, there's a little voice in the back of his head telling him that what he's really afraid of is not her getting hurt but him.

Finally, one day about six weeks after his return, as he sits and watches TV while trying to ignore the sounds of Mark and his girlfriend going at it like rabbits, the phone rings.

"Hello?"

There is a silence long enough that he considers hanging up, but suddenly a voice seems to tumble out of the receiver. "Jim? This is Pam."

He's been letting the resentment build up for so long now that he almost says "Pam who?" just out of spite, but Jim almost does a lot of things and very rarely really does anything, so instead he just says "Hey. It feels weird not hearing that preceded by 'Dunder Mifflin.'"

She laughs. "I hope I sound slightly less like my soul's being sucked out than I did then."

"Slightly." There's another seemingly infinite silence. "So, how are you? How was Mexico?"

"It was a lot of fun actually. I signed up for this tour group last minute. Met a lot of interesting people. It seems weird, knowing people that Roy's never even met." She stops talking then, as though she regrets mentioning Roy, but he's busy remembering how much he missed hearing her voice.

"That's awesome. Although I don't know that anyone could seem interesting ever again after some of the characters we've worked with."

"That is true. No one will ever top Dwight. So, how was Australia? Did you get any hot, tanned, accented girls to fall madly in love with you?"

"Sadly, it seems that the hot, tanned, accented girls prefer men with those same attributes. Go figure."

"Yeah, but to them, you have an accent. Plus I'm guessing you must have been pretty tanned by the end of your trip."

"Good point. Dammit, I can't believe I missed my chance. Although it was winter there, so I actually didn't beach it too much. But I did…" Jim can't believe how natural it feels talking to her again. It's almost an hour and a half later when he looks at his watch. "Oh, Pam, I've got to go. It's my mom's birthday and I want to call her before she goes to bed."

"Oh, yeah, of course. Wow, I can't believe we talked so long. I should let you go."

"Yeah…but it was great talking to you again."

_Ask her out!_ the voice is saying, but it is interrupted by her voice. "We should, um, go to dinner…catch up."

He exhales in what seems like an incredibly loud burst. "Yeah. Yeah, definitely." He finds himself nodding and is glad that the cameras are only in the office and not at his apartment.

He expects her to give a vague, or at least distant time, but instead she says "What about Friday?"

"Friday? As in this Friday? As in tomorrow?"

"Yeah. If that's okay, I mean. I know it's short notice…you probably have plans…"

"No. No plans. Well, unless I take Michael up on his offer to attend his improv class."

"Ah. Well, I'll understand if you have to cancel."

"I think I can sacrifice for you just this once."

"Wow. That is incredibly generous of you. So, do you want to meet somewhere, or…"

"Oh! I forgot, my car's in the shop."

"That's no problem. I can pick you up at seven maybe?"

This is all happening much faster than he had anticipated. "Yeah. Seven sounds good."

Soon they hang up and he is left blankly looking at the phone in his hand, feeling almost blindsided.

* * *

The next day, the doorbell rings just as he is getting out of the shower. Mark's at his girlfriend's place, so Jim quickly pulls on his pants over still-wet legs. The bell rings again and he finds himself opening the door while still buttoning his shirt.

She looks startled for a second and then smiles. "You're not wearing any shoes."

He covers his mouth in mock horror. "How scandalous! What am I, a Victorian lady?"

"More like a Victorian whore." He laughs and she surprises him by hugging him. He resists the urge to pick her up off the ground. She pulls back, embarrassed. "Sorry I'm so early. I overestimated how long it would take me to get here."

"No, it's no problem. I just have to run upstairs and finish getting ready. Make yourself comfortable.

He runs upstairs and quickly pulls on socks and shoes and combs his hair. He takes a deep breath in front of the mirror and then heads back to the living room. When he gets downstairs he sees Pam on her knees, looking at his DVD collection.

"You have six seasons of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ on DVD?" she laughs. "I think sitting in such close proximity to Dwight for so many years is finally taking its toll."

"Alright, the fact that you are saying that tells me you have never seen _Buffy._"

"No, I'm not a fourteen-year-old girl," she teases.

"I will bet you a bag of Doritos that I can turn you into a true believer in the brilliance that is _Buffy_ by the end of the night."

"Ooh, big talk. You're on, Halpert. You're just lucky the restaurant didn't take reservations."

She settles down on the couch, leaving her shoes on the floor and tucking her feet under her. "Who's a Victorian whore now, Beesley?" he teases.

She sticks her tongue out at him as he inserts the DVD and joins her on the couch. It's an old couch and they sink to the middle so that her knee is touching his. It feels somehow completely comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time. But that's how it's always been with Pam, so he shouldn't be surprised.

Forty-three minutes later, he stretches and says "Well, I guess we should get to the restaurant."

He attempts to get up, but she grabs his arm and threateningly growls "Halpert, you had better start the next episode or I am not going to be responsible for my actions."

He laughs. "I thought it was a stupid kid's show?"

"This is your fault. You just had to start me on a 'to be continued' episode, didn't you?"

He shrugs. "I am a bit of an evil genius. An evil genius who should have bet more than just a bag of Doritos."

Six episodes later and they're almost finished with the second season. Despite the fact that they're on one of Jim's favorite episodes, he hasn't been aware of what's happening on the screen for a good five minutes now, given the way Pam is gripping his knee.

When the episode ends, she finally seems to realize and pulls her hand away. She suddenly seems to notice the clock for the first time as well. "Oh god, Jim. I'm sorry. I know you have to work in the morning."

"Oh, don't remind me," he groans. He leans his head back and shuts his eyes for a minute, and tries to pretend this night could last forever. When he opens his eyes, she's looking at him. "What?" he smiles.

"Jim, would you be mad, I mean, would it be okay if I kissed you?"

He is suddenly very awake. He tries to form words, but all he manages to do is stutter so he just nods his head. She smiles and he can't imagine being happier. Two seconds later, her lips are on his and he is happier. The next few minutes are a blur. She's pushing him down onto the couch and his hand is on her back, pulling up her shirt. When she starts to unbutton his, he forces himself to pull back. "Pam, wait. What about needing to be on your own and everything?" She leans back and she's straddling him, and his hands are running up and down her legs despite his best efforts to stop them.

"I was just looking at you and I realized that you've never once not let me be myself. And…maybe I can be by myself with you. I guess that sounds stupid, but…"

He's already kissing her again though because it makes perfect sense to him. Her hands are in his hair and he wishes they both had a million hands, like one of those Hindu gods because it feels better than he could have ever imagined just to finally be able to touch her.

It's almost painful when she pulls back again. "Jim, wait." He forces himself to stop and take a breath. Here's where it ends. He should have known it would have to. "Can we go to your room?" she asks and that is the last thing he expected her to say.

They attempt to stand up, but she stumbles. "Aah, foot's asleep," she yelps and puts her weight on her other foot. "Wait, make that feet asleep."

He nods his head towards his bedroom. "Come on Beesley, I'll give you a piggyback." She clumsily clambers onto his back and he hopes she doesn't ask him to carry her up Mount Everest, because he knows he wouldn't be able to refuse.

Jim rolls over in the morning to find the other side of the bed empty. He opens his eyes and sees Pam's clothes still hanging on the chair and he smiles at the thought that wherever she is, she's either wearing something of his or nothing at all. After looking at the clock, he realizes that he's going to be late, so he rolls over and picks up the phone to call the office. He figures he'll just call in sick today. He's surprised to hear Pam's voice on the line. He's about to hang up when he hears the topic of conversation.

"Mom, guess where I am?"

Her mom gasps "Oh my God, Jim's house?"

"Mom! How did you know?"

"I don't know. You just sounded so happy."

That's when he hangs up and heads to the bathroom. Pam's just hanging up the phone when he enters the kitchen, clad only in one of his work shirts. She turns and raises her arms and he lifts her onto the counter and kisses her, her legs wrapping around his waist. She laughs and says "Smell me. I smell like Jim."

They make bacon and eggs and when Dwight calls to make sure he's really sick Pam pretends to be him with a horrible voice disease (Femvoicinitis; highly contagious). Pam tells him all about her new job and he tells her about his sister's new baby and it feels like they just came home from a long day at the office. Except that it's not an end at all, is it? It's really just the beginning.


End file.
